Our Daily Dead

A blonde’s car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day
So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.

She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.
Takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them
at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike
cardboard men are in trenchcoats exposing their nude bodies
to approaching drivers…

Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up.
It wasn’t very long before a police car arrives.
The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches her yelling,
“What is going on here?”

“My car broke down, Officer” says the woman, calmly.

“Well, what the heck are these obscene cardboard pictures
doing here by the road?!” asks the Officer…

“They are my emergency flashers”, she replied.

Differential diagnosis of sudden death in 39 year-old person is fairly limited (but look for Hollywood, Florida CSI to come up with, “Indeterminate.”) Considerations include heart (primary disturbance of heartbeat or myocardial infarction), blood vessels (blood clot to lungs or brain, rupture of blood vessel), or toxic (drugs or alcohol or drugs and alcohol). Leading cause of death in the “indeterminate” category is “The Cosmic Flyswatter.”

Why our obsession with Vickie Lynn Hogan (aka “Anna Nichole Smith”)? Was it her brains, artistic creativity, tireless work in solving the plight of the downtrodden, taste in clothing, social activism, political brilliance, efforts as a nutritional role model, or dedication saving William Jefferson Clinton from the deep dark pit of lechery and wankerhood? Nope, none of that, although the last possibility certainly has its own form of merit. Vickie Lynn Anna Nichole’s talent was exuding the very weird, hideously hyperbolic macromastic, image of womanhood, thus sending a monumental negative nebulistic message to women of realistic proportions (i.e. those in the 95% of the bell-shaped curve–oh god, was that an ODDpun?), and at the same time providing a two dimensional sexual aid to men. Distortion caries a heavy burden.

All this brings us to a few ODDthoughts. Forget all the theistic differences between Muslims and the Western world. One likes their women covered up, the other with their clothes off. Different method, same message. Here’s another thoughts for the day. Follow closely now. Anna Vickie Nichole Lynn recently had a baby, the father of whom is up for debate. The Prophet Abu al-Qasim Muhammad married his second (or possibly third) wife Ayescha when she was six years old (although he waited until he considered her to be a proper age before consummating the marriage–Ayescha was nine when the Prophet did the deed.) Hold on, don’t go P.C. quite yet. Most would say bedding a nine-year old is a reasonable candidate for the type of behavior that got John Mark Karr into a whole lot of trouble, a business class ticket to Boulder, Colorado and a lot of press re. the Jon Benet Ramsey case.

Okay, time for an interim summary. Death, sex, children, and…

everyone thus far associated with this story seems to have three names. But wait, there’s more… Prince Frederic Von Halt claims he’s the father of Anna Lynn Hogan’s child, Dinnelynn (that’s two names in our ODDbook). And to whom is the good Prince married? Ah hah–Zsa Zsa Gabor! The way we see it, we need a crack investigator brought in on the Anna Nichole Smith case, one with a sterling history of solving tough problems related to death, small children, and pediophiles. We ODDones say, bring in the Boulder, Colorado District Attorney, MARY LACY KEENAN!

~~The ODDones for OurDailyDead.com

Technorati tags: CSI, Vickie Lynn Hogan, Anna Nichole Smith, Abu al-Qasim Muhammad, Ayescha, John Mark Karr, Boulder, Jon Benet, Frederic Von Halt, Dinnelynn, Zsa Zsa Gabor, MARY LACY KEENAN

From the folks in Canada we find out that Billy Henderson, member of the Spinners, has died at age 67.

Henderson died Friday of complications from diabetes at a Daytona Beach, Fla., health care facility, his wife, Barbara, said.

The 1972 song “I’ll Be Around” was part of a string of Top 20 Spinners hits that included “Could It Be I’m Falling in Love,” “Then Came You” and “The Rubberband Man.”

The five-member band of high school friends formed in 1954 in Ferndale, Mich., a Detroit suburb. They went on to be nominated for six Grammy Awards and became the second black musical group to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Four of the original band members, including Henderson, continued to perform together until recently. He was dismissed from the group in 2004 after suing the group’s corporation and business manager to obtain financial records.

~~The ODDones for OurDailyDead.com

Technorati tags: Spinners, died, diabetes, Hollywood Walk of Fame

Fifteen cows were found dead in mysterious circumstances near a pond in Bajrang Nagar area in Ujjain, following which the Vishva Hindu Parishad (VHP) called a bandh in the district on Monday.

Twelve cows were found dead near the pond on Saturday, and three more were found early this morning, police said.

As news of the death of the cows spread in the city, VHP activists staged a protest outside the Superintendent of Police’s office in Ujjain, demanding the arrest of persons they said were behind the incident.

Technorati Tags: cows, dead, Ujjain, Vishva Hindu Parishad