Our Daily Dead

A blonde’s car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day
So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.

She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.
Takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them
at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike
cardboard men are in trenchcoats exposing their nude bodies
to approaching drivers…

Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up.
It wasn’t very long before a police car arrives.
The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches her yelling,
“What is going on here?”

“My car broke down, Officer” says the woman, calmly.

“Well, what the heck are these obscene cardboard pictures
doing here by the road?!” asks the Officer…

“They are my emergency flashers”, she replied.

Do you happen to have a move coming up? Is that big corporation relocating you? Well now just because we’ve an alert eye - the other one might best be described only as lecherous - we can now bring you Moving Recommendations.

It appears that social structure factors, such as the percentage of a state’s urban population, divorced residents, one-person households and unemployed residents, all help explain why some states are home to more male serial killers.

Mayhaps you’d like to avoid those states. Consider a transfer elsewhere then…South Dakota perhaps? Wyoming? New Mexico?

Oh, but there is more….also noted are cultural factors such as a high ratio of executions to homicides and classification as a southern state correlate nicely with a higher rate of serial killers.

Um, “classification as a southern state“? Egads.

Okay so maybe our subscription to Homicide Studies is a bit much, but once again we thought you needed to know these things.

~~The ODDones for OurDailyDead.com

Technorati tags: lecherous, serial killers, southern state

Certainly we all need a wee bit o’ help from time to time with and about our chosen careers. Well that is the normal “we” actually as those who are Not One Of Us worry not.

With that ridiculous preamble now safely out of our ODDsystems we provide yet another episode in our continuing series of Self Help and Community Service Announcements.

Tis this, simply and without ornamentation: if you find that your once high flying career has you surfing the bar at the Holiday Inn instead of dancing [butt] cheek to [butt] cheek with Paris, why then no doubt you need to give your flagging career a new launch. We read that one of the surest means is the old bit of a strip for a nude photo shoot. At least according to photographer Motoji Takasu by way of the Mainichi Daily News. But then he does have vested interest in getting you naked so mayhaps his is just another pickup line.

And speaking of naked flagging careers, perhaps the excess exposure explains ol wassernames behavior recently, eh what?

But just think and consider (and ponder too if you are willing to go that far)! Once your career is again stratospheric you can give up some of those old haunts of yours…for example your gig at the Player’s Nightclub at Hobart’s St David’s Anglican Cathedral. Sure the setting is nice, but the tips are probably lousy (unless you finger the collection plates that is). Won’t you be happy to avoid all that leaping from pew to pew and dogma to dogma? We must admit however that we’ll miss your genuflecting.

Naturally if you never really had a career, but still need that another hit of your “Look At Me” drug you can take a cue from Heidi and Seal. Invite the media over for a bit of a bash to show off the nude pictures of you and the family. Surely one of those pics will work later as a donation to raise funds for someone’s school or hospital or church don’t ya think?

And then, when your career just seems like so much T&A we suggest politics. No not Bush politics (although we couldn’t resist that). Our sage advice? Chuck it all and move to Spain. Once there we urge you to consider, especially with your checkered background and vast experience, the position of Deputy Mayor for Economy.

~~The ODDones for OurDailyDead.com

Technorati tags: Self Help, Community Service, Holiday Inn, Paris, Motoji Takasu, naked, dogma, genuflect, Seal, nude, T&A, politics, Spain