The Traffic Lights They Turn A Blue Tomorrow
And shine the emptiness down on my bed
The tiny island sags downstream
‘Cause the life that they lived is dead
And the wind screams Mary
We here at ODD, after much diligence, personal expense and long hours spent shuttered away from our families, have discovered the absolute key issue facing those of us living in the modern era: traffic lights. While we await government funding to further our research into this ODDtheory we remain confident that you will find the truth of this a forehead slap D’oh realization. Each time you boldly sally forth the Evil Traffic Light awaits with sole purpose to foil and frustrate. And the awful fact is this: they could be programmed better. Traffic lights typically work based on PLCs - Programmable Logic Controllers. Or perhaps that should be Poorly-programmed Lack-of-logic Controllers. At least now you know whom to curse when your light goes red just before you get to the intersection to allow for exactly no one crossing said intersection all at 2am. Grrrrr…makes you mad enough to melt that tub of Tutti-Frutti, eh?
Now if you only had a friend like Seth Green’s character in the Italian Job
We should add - as a public service of course - that you could take destiny by the reins (or horns perhaps) and get a MIRT. Go Greyhound! And leave the driving to us!
Oh, and Mr. Shelby Foote - thanks for making the Civil War interesting for us. Loved your narration in Mr. Burns’ film. Oh! (we’re just full of O’s today (?!)) If you might find interest (and no profit) in guest blogging for us, then drop us a wee line via the Contact Us page.
